|The Nightmare Henry Fuseli, 1781|
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Thursday Thoughts with B.D. Roca
Dreams: Who’s Been Starring in Them?
Dreams... Before Freud it must have been so cool to have sat down and idly described the night’s dreams to a lover or friend. Now... hmm. I’ve had dreams described to me that really are a map of the inside of that person’s skull, and probably a map that they just wouldn’t want to share ;) To them the images seemed quite puzzling, innocent or just plain nonsensical. To anyone else they read like a roadmap.
Tell me, if you’d had this dream would you have told anyone about it? Or painted it? Let’s face it, it’s a woman orgasmically sprawled back in a white nightie with a goblin sitting on her, while a horse pokes its head through the curtains and checks it all out. Yikes! Rampant symbolism alert!
So, when I thought about the dream theme of this post, I thought, well, my main problem is that I just don’t remember my dreams (the night-time unconscious ones that is). At least the ones I’m going to share with you all... ha!
I do remember one dream, if only because it had Jim Morrison in it. Yes, THAT Jim Morrison! Yowza! Thin, gorgeous Jim in his leather jeans phase. But no, nothing wild happened, hell, maybe he just read me some song lyrics. I’m pretty certain in real life Morrison was pretty sweaty and damn near funky-glued into those jeans, and sadly, that was probably pretty aromatic to be around.
So there’s my sole celebrity-starring dream. Interpret it as you will ;)
Morrison would provide a great soundtrack to any dream, but hey, one starring Fassbender or Hiddleston? I would remember every detail of any dream featuring those two.
I do actually have other dreams. Proper, attainable ones. They revolve around getting the stories bouncing around in my brain down onto the page, and giving voice to the characters running around in there. They also revolve around getting enough time to do everything I want to: above all, to spend more time with those I love, to visit some wishlist amazing places, and give time to the books and art I want to create.
One of the MC’s in Happy Birthday, Nick, has never allowed himself to dream of a future, or to want anything for himself. He’s been robbed by circumstance of those options. Nick is a motorcycle club enforcer, and Jake, a witness to MC business and Nick’s target, is the man who finally allows Nick to become a whole human being with hopes, dreams and plans.
I thought I’d include a short excerpt here, showing the world that Jake opens up for Nick:
“You’re not very kind to yourself, are you?”
Jake was wry and understanding, and Nick wondered just how he could know that. How could Jake, a guy from a different world, understand even that basic fact about him?
“These scars on your hands. How did you get them?”
“Fights, a long time back. But mostly engines,” Nick croaked, and cleared his throat. His cock was hard, and he felt too vulnerable. “I work on engines. Cars. Bikes.”
“When you’re not… scaring the shit out of people or blowing their brains out?”
Jake was mocking him. He was teasing, and Nick didn’t know how to handle that either. His gray eyes widened as he looked at Jake’s face, the face, he realized, that he liked the most of any he’d ever seen, and Jake smiled. He shifted the showerhead again, the water sliding down over Nick’s skin, washing the suds away, and Nick realized something else. The last two days had been a series of firsts. He’d gotten caught up in a target, probably the only one worth getting caught up in. There had been nothing about the others that had tugged at his conscience. There had been about Jake, that innocent witness. But he’d never felt this connection before either. Nor had he ever known tenderness from another human being… oh, maybe thrown to him from his parents, early on, before they were eaten up by their addiction. After that, they were flying down that dark tunnel, loving him when they could, forgetting him when they couldn’t.
That was just life. Nobody got some perfect deal. But there was something perfect, something beautiful and killingly tender in the way Jake cupped his face in his hands and kissed him.
It made the breath tighten in Nick’s lungs. It made him want to wind his arms about the man and never let him go. And he couldn’t. He just couldn’t do that.
He couldn’t do that to him.
“You’re pretty amazing,” Jake said softly, drawing back.
Nick stared at him. Tried to drag back his cold shell and couldn’t. Not for this man.
Jake Rushman is on the run, but it’s too late. He’s being tracked by an expert.
Motorcycle Club Enforcer Nick is tough, but even he has a conscience. It’s slowly destroying him, together with memories of his parents’ ugly deaths. Nick eliminates the guilty, but Jake Rushman is the innocent witness to a murder. It will be one kill too many.
Determined to find redemption, Nick plans to trade his life for Jake’s. Neither man counts on the fierce, powerful bond that the collision of their opposing worlds brings, and Jake refuses to let Nick sacrifice himself. He offers Nick the one thing he's never had: hope.
But with a violent past tracking them, Nick might be forced to do the one thing he promised himself he never would—kill again.
Cover artist: Reese Dante.
Released 13th January, 2016 and available from the following:
B.D. Roca spent her early years in Brisbane, in a series of crumbling old houses laced with the smell of frangipani and surrounded by the hum of cicadas. Her gran raised her on ghost stories, quirky family history, and told her to beat up anyone who gave her attitude. This was not advice she took, although it does make a certain amount of sense. It may also account for her love of tough characters with a heart of gold.
Between the old houses, feral cats, steamy heat, and history lessons, it was pure Australian gothic. She’s traveled a lot since then, but those times are still a powerful influence both on her worldview and writing.
Shout out to B.D. here: