Monday, December 14, 2015

Monday Musings with Lynda Aicher

Do You Believe in Insta-love?


Insta-love seems to be the modern, shortened term for ‘love at first sight.’ It’s far from a new concept or story trope and has been the basis for many, many movies and books. However, the believability factor of it is still debated and often panned.

A lot of the arguments I’ve heard against insta-love revolve around the premise that love doesn’t happen that way in real life. That people don’t meet, fall immediately in love and live happily ever after. The belief is that love is something that has to grow slowly between a couple in order for it to last.

Now an immediate attraction is classified as insta-lust and completely acceptable. However the caveat is lust can’t move into love without a passage of time and significant interaction between the couple. But there is no set rule on how much time and interaction is required. Is two weeks, a month, six months long enough before love can be declared as believable?

I personally believe in insta-love, or more importantly, I want to believe in it. It’s exciting and romantic and fun to imagine that special person stepping into your life and sweeping you off your feet. And who’s to say if the emotion is superficial or won’t last? Isn’t that dependent on the couple? Trying to classify how love works for each individual is like trying to define who each of us should love. What is right for one person, isn’t so good for another.

I agree that relationships take work and compromise. That there’s more involved and required for a couple to live together happily than an intense attraction. Love is an emotion and therefore flexible and shifting. It can mean different things to everyone and have varying levels of intensity. It isn’t the same for anyone and judging and ridiculing how someone else experiences it is, in my opinion, kind of pointless.

But most importantly, when it comes to fictional love, I think anything goes. Every couple is different and so are their experiences. So if love happens fast and instantaneously or is a slow build over many trials, I’m good either way.

What are your feelings on insta-love? Do you believe in in?



Champagne Kisses

The Christmas Eve wedding Evan Cleary pulled together in four weeks is crashing down around him and taking his fledgling event planning business with it. With an empty altar and over a hundred guests arriving soon, he turns to the resistant, gorgeous brother of the runaway groom for help.

When Richard Patterson’s flamboyant brother storms out hours before he’s scheduled to marry his equally dramatic partner, Richard is left dealing with the fallout. The last thing he wants is more drama, yet he can’t deny his attraction to the effeminate event planner trying to salvage the wedding.

Evan thinks his crush on Richard is a lost cause, but one steaming kiss later, he learns different. What starts as a night of hot sex turns into a connection neither expected. But Evan knows their relationship is hopeless unless the ultra-conservative Richard can embrace every part of him—both in private and in public.






About Lynda Aicher

I love to read. It's a simple fact about me that has been true since I discovered the worlds of Judy Blume at the age of ten. This love of reading transferred to young romance (the early version of Young Adult when the stories weren't plagued by vampires, werewolves, and death) which hooked me on the romance genre and the fulfillment that comes with a happy-ever-after ending.

Twenty-five years later, I'm still an avid reader of all types of romance. The diversity of writing in the market ensures that there is always something new to read. I'm still a sucker for the happy-ever-after because there are more than enough not-so-happy endings in the real world that I don't need to read about them. I read a book for enjoyment and I want to feel good when the story ends.

I have the luxury of being a full-time writer, that is, a full-time writer around my duties as mom, wife, cleaner, cook, chauffeur, master scheduler, banker, cheerleader, volunteer, and tutor. Writing has to be a priority, or it would never happen.

I live in the Pacific Northwest which provides many months of rain-filled incentive to stay indoors and write. However, I'm a Midwesterner at heart. A perfect day has the snow falling outside, a fire warming the room, a football game on the television, a roast cooking in the oven, my family hanging out around me and a good book to read.

I'm thrilled to be nominated for a 2015 Romance Writers of America RITA® award (that's the Oscars of the romance world) for my Male/Male book Bonds of Denial. This is the first time any M/M books have been nominated and I'm humbled to be a part of such a great event.

Connect with Lynda:

·Website: lyndaaicher.com
·Twitter: @lyndaaicher





Giveaway

To celebrate the release of Champagne Kisses, Lynda Aicher is giving away a $50 gift card to Amazon! Your first comment at each stop on this tour enters you in the drawing. Entries close at midnight, Eastern time, on December 19, 2015. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. Entries. Follow the tour for more opportunities to enter the giveaway, and don’t forget to leave your email or method of contact so Riptide can reach you if you win!




17 comments:

  1. I have no strong beliefs in it one way or the other, but it makes for a fun read sometimes!

    --Trix, vitajex(at)aol(Dot)com

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  2. That blurb really really piqued me. Adding the book to my TBR list. Ho ho ho! X-))
    menik16(at)gmail(dot)com

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  3. I believe in love at first sight, or at least the possibility of it, and if written well, it can make for a lovely story. Thanks for the post! Toni violet817(at)aol(dot)com

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  4. Aloha. I sick of the moans about 'insta-love.' Primarily it seems to be aimed at the m/m community and it's rubbish. People have love at first sight all the time. It's not new or not real. It's very real. I've personally had it happen to me.

    I've grown in love and fallen in love. I'd take falling in love every time. It's more exciting and it usually means a deep soul level relationship. That's why we fall in love instantly. We know that person.

    I'd like to ban the Insta-love label. It makes it sound cheap and tawdry. And not real.

    Fooey to that. It's real. It happens.

    I love a good love at first sight story too.

    Aloha Meg Amor. :-).

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    1. I like your description of grown in love vs. falling in love. That is so true! And I agree on banning the insta-love label. It's another label and we really don't need more labels in this world. :)

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  5. I guess it depends on what type of mood I'm in. I like to read about it sometimes but when I hear about it in RL I'm kind of skeptical...I guess..
    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

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  6. could happen

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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  7. I want to believe in love at first sight just because!

    ree.dee.2014 (at) gmail (dot) com

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  8. I think IRL I believe in insta-I-think-I-could-love-this-person. Insta-love in fiction, though, is quite fun.

    jen(dot)f(at)mac(dot)com

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    Replies
    1. And fiction is supposed to be fun, right?

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  9. I believe in instant attraction & have had it happen. But I don't believe in love at first sight. Real love requires knowing a person & trust, not just being attracted. For that - some time needs to be there in the relationship. JMHO. legacylandlisa(at)gmail(dot)com

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  10. Unfortunately we live in a world where 'my opinion is the only one that counts, and If I don't agree with what you say you're wrong and so be it.' That sort of mentality is rampant and is what's taking this world down the dark and very deep rabbit hole.
    Everyone has their own opinions and should be respected as what they are. Opinions.
    I, for one, do believe in Love/Lust/Attraction at First Sight. It's happened, sort of, to me. So, yeah.
    Much success on your newest release and Happy Holidays!
    taina1959 @ yahoo.com

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  11. I think lust has a lot to do with love of the romantic persuasion. So why can't lust carry the majority of the love feelings and other things like trust and friendship take the lead further along in the relationship? Then, to me, it is love. But insta-love... Just add water?
    hojurose(at)gmail(do)com

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  12. In RL? mmm nope, but I love instalove stories in my books...
    Thanks for this chance and congrats!!
    cvale1@virgilio.it

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  13. I don't believe in it and I'm no a huge fan of inta love in the books, mevalem258 AT gmail DOT com

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  14. Thank you to all who entered this contest. A winner has been selected and the contest is now closed. Happy Holidays! ~ Lynda

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